Dr. Luann Linquist… as seen on OPRAH
By Dr. Luann Linquist
The Bridges of Madison County was a best-seller for 162 weeks. The movie version grossed over $70 million. You know the story: An Iowa farm wife finds herself in the throes of a sizzling affair with a roving photographer. His tender attention and fiery passion make her aware that her marriage has become sexually and emotionally unfulfilling.
Many people relate to the plight of this lonely farm wife -- which might account for the tale's popularity. What lessons can be learned?
Generally, as therapists, we see an affair as a sign that there is something wrong in the marriage, or that the married lover should either correct the situation or get out of the marriage. This is because in our work we see more negatives than positives come out of affairs. However, as you know, there's more than one side to a story. My reseach illuminates the patterns, passions, as well as the pitfalls of long term extra-marital affairs.
Here are some suggestions and cautions you may use with your clients who are involved in an affair. Work with them to:
"It's easy for a couple to drift apart," says one married client.
"From now on I'm going to make more time for my spouse. I'm going to keep our
spiritual connection strong."
A single client says: "I'm going to be patient and wait for my soul mate. I used to settle for someone who tried to make me happy -- even if they failed. Now I know I need the real thing."
SECRET LOVERS, Affairs Happen...How to Cope
by Dr Luann Linquist
Luann Linquist, Ph.D., MCC, founder of DeleteStress.com, is a noted speaker, coach, author and therapist who enhances relationships and communication by utilizing "The DELETE technique" -- a cutting-edge, rapid-response integrative process that rapidly eliminates obstacles created by work-life stress, anxiety, and phobias that people have been struggling with for months and even years.